Thursday, March 11, 2010


Because so much time has passed and so much has happened, I thought I'd write a generalized post about ultrasounds.

Ultrasound I: 5 weeks
My first ultrasound was a dating ultrasound. No, don't think that way. I know the rooms are dark and the mood light is set, but really come on, last thing you feel is sexy with a piece of paper draped over your naked rear end while legs are in the air. They wanted to find out exactly how far along I was (which I thought was kind of funny because we all knew when my IUI was, but hey i'm a visual person, I'll take any pictures I can get).

Don't be surprised if you're this early and they still do the vag ultrasound. Oh vag ultrasound. If you're a fertility patient, you will come to know vag ultrasound all too well. It almost feels like cheating at some point. A really weird twisted fetish..form of cheating. BUT I digress. again!

Up on the screen came the uterus, just a little black circle, and suddenly you could see a little whitish blip. So incredibly small. But near it was a larger white circle. "that's the yolk sac" the tech said. All I could do was just watch it, just mystified that those images were indeed, from what was inside of me. Luckily I dated exactly what they thought.

Ultrasound II: 6 weeks.

Well being pregnant has it's good side I guess. It makes you EXTREMELY HORNY. Your husband/partner will never look more appealing, or smell more appealing. At least this was in my case. B just exuded sex to me. I'd sit at work trying to focus but honestly thinking of just ripping his clothes off as soon as I got home. Like some really bad made werewolf movie where everyone lived, but shredded clothes were all over the house. But unfortunately I had some bleeding after our rendezvous, and they had me come in for an ultrasound. Not much more, just a little bit bigger, but looked pretty much the same as the first.

Ultrasound III: 8 weeks.
This was my first Dr. appt and because they wanted to find the heartbeat, which I was just flabbergasted you could even see at this point. Heartbeat? Baby? Mine? What? Hello? So in we go again, hot paper cover, condom covered probe (hot). This time on the screen the little blip had gotten much larger, and the sac much smaller. And in the middle of the blip (should I even be referring to the baby as a blip, but really that's what it looked like) was a little blinking gray area. "that's the heartbeating" the tech said. I don't know how I felt at that point..I was in shock, or maybe just disbelief. Again I felt like I was just there for fun, being dirty with the probe, watching a screen with someone else's pictures. really? it has a heartbeat now? wow...

Ultrasound IV: 10 weeks
My regular doctors appoint. We could find the heartbeat on doppler so the Dr. said lets see if Ultrasound can do a quick scan. Paper cover, condom covered probe (even hotter) and suddenly it wasn't just a blip anymore. You could see a shape. You could tell where a head was, little tiny fat limb buds. and the other thing which I was NOT expecting: it was moving. B was there, and I almost screamed out, "OMG IT'S MOVING!" because I honestly thought it'd just be floating in the vast fluid of my uterus. It kept wiggling it's hips and sticking out it's little arm buds. The tech just let us watch for a couple minutes because we were just totally in shock that this little baby was now moving. It wasn't just a blip anymore, it was a baby. I must have stared at this picture for the entire day, probably days after, imagining it wiggling.

Ultrasound V: 12 weeks: first trimester screen.
Now this ultrasound has provided me with days of restless sleep and worry. It's a test to see if the baby has DS or any other anomalies that might occur early, such as Trisomy 13 and 18 (both which are basically fatal genetic flaws). B didn't come with me for this one just because of work, so I was on my own. I think the level of apprehension of what was going to be found mixed with should I even get excited to see the baby. I have had a hard time with anxiety during this pregnancy and attachment was definitely an issue. I hadn't felt attached. I think by detaching a bit I was emotionally protecting myself in the case something bad would happen. (i'm still kind of grappling with this). Anyways, into the room I go, ready to again have my encounter with the probe. "oh you don't need that, we're going to do it on top of your stomach from now on". OMG. I said my goodbyes to the probe..we had after all developed a pretty close relationship by now. I promised it we'd probably see each other in the future and I would send holiday cards.

ANYWAYS. suddenly the baby comes up on the screen, and it's much, much bigger than the last time. I think that's what's shocking is just how different it will look in just a matter of short time. Baby was moving and sticking it's arms up and just wiggling around. It wasn't in the best position though for measuring. They like the baby to be laying on its back, facing forward like I am, but instead, baby was flipped over staring at my butt. of course.

It took quite a while just to get the measurements they needed, but I was ok with that. It was almost an hour just watching the baby wiggle it's body, turn it's head, stick it's little arms out. After, and some might not tell you this, you get a blood test also. They stick your finger and then literally milk the blood out of it while it drips on these pieces of paper they send out. Ok, so my finger might still hurt from the milking. No fun. No fun either is the U/S goo that you keep finding all day that you're like, Omg, I know I cleaned myself up, WTF is this still here, and where did it come from. I'm convinced the goo seeps into your pores and anytime you get excited or think about the baby, it seeps out. Like some really deranged alien ability but it's just you excitement. Or maybe right now I have a lack of sleep and that's my only suitable explanation for the finding of more goo after almost an entire kleenex box is used. come...


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