Sunday, March 14, 2010

inner junkie.

somewhere around the beginning of February I was scheduled to have my appt with the office dietician/nutritionist. I figured it was to learn more about pregnant diet plans. Since i'm definitely on the cushy side of the weight spectrum, I know weight gain was a concern for them.

Loaded with questions about what foods to swap with, my trusty brown notebook I've been carrying with me everywhere, I sat down only to find out that this indeed was not about my love affair with potatoes.

it was to learn how to use a glucometer and test my blood sugar.

4 times a day.


I know I've read everywhere that gestational diabetes comes up late in the second trimester, but I really didn't understand why I had to start then. I was a little put off, felt like maybe it was because i'm heavier and it was just a discrimination thing (because thin women get GD too).

I'm really, really, really, really, really not a fan of needles. the very fact I still don't cry like a baby getting blood drawn still really blows my mind away. especially since i was born with thread thin veins and have to get stuck multiple times in my hand (fun times!) to get any blood. I'm always the "challenge" to the nurses who kind of play at it like a game, which at times is irritating. it's like..dude..come on..don't stick my arm 33939 times when i've already told you no. ugh.

The nutritionist showed me how to use the meter, told me to pick up mine at the pharmacy and that I would from now on test 4x a day, once when I first get up, and then an hour after every meal. not a fun time..more like a human chemistry test.

I had a hard time dealing with this. I also had gone for a long time not hearing or knowing if the baby was ok. I got super frustrated at my sugars spiking anytime I ate a carb of any form. i felt like it was all just pointless if the baby wasn't still alive or ok.

So don't do what I did. which was to decide to cut out all carbs and go on a meat and veggie only marathon. which was super hard because: 1. we eat a lot of rice in our house and 2. we don't eat a lot of meat. by the end of the week i felt like absolute crap. just tired, weak, overall not very good. I got a call from the nurse (who had been getting my sugars all along) and she said I was going to have to go on insulin.


my sugars were too high and that I also needed to test ketones (for anyone who doesn't know, you pee on a stick and match the colors).

My next appointment with the nutritionist was 3 days from then. My ketones were incredibly high, I had lost 5lbs, and was schooled on all the ways this is bad. That your body and the baby needs carbs and will consume your fat to make up for it and produce keytones which are toxic. so armed with my new insulin injecting pen, i was sent home to stick myself in the stomach once again. THIS TIME instead of the long ovidrel needle from the fert days, it was half the length.

Ladies, if you are terrified of needles as I am, please please PLEASE don't sweat this! You honestly CANNOT feel the needle go in. It's the fear factor and total terrifying sweat you have before. I knew it wasn't going to hurt, but I still hesitated. I also must have wasted who knows how much squirting it out to make sure there were no air bubbles. BTW I asked about that and it's not going to kill you even if a tiny bubble gets in because it's not going into your vein. You can do this. Big needle p*ssy here did it, I know you can too. Think about how delicious those tortilla chips or big bowl of spanish rice is going to taste.

So now i'm on insulin for dinner's only so far. I also have to take a long lasting nighttime one at 9pm. I bought a cute case for all of my needles and pens to be in, makes it not seem so gross. But i've also changed my way of thinking. It's not about the fact I can't have that delicious fried chicken sandwich and french fries, it's about not having a 30lb baby who will have a sugar crash.

I get super technical too, kind of in a nerdy way, so almost in this messed up what's-wrong-with-that-chick kind of way I get excited seeing what my numbers are after what I eat. I track every bite that goes into my mouth. Carb counting is not fun. You won't learn it overnight, hell I still don't understand how to calculate a lot. but you can do it.

so yeah..i'm a chemistry test at it's finest. plus, i have more ammo when the kid ever says "you never loved me!" and that's when daddy has his talk about how crazy mommy was while pregnant and shoved needles into herself daily just because of how much love she has.



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